Sunday, 28 June 2009

Stereotypical Birthday Cards

Forgive my less than eye catching title and prepare yourselves for another rant. The other day I was trying to pick a birthday card for a friend and I realised that most of the cards for girls were about shoes, shopping, chocolate and 'getting drunk with the girls'. Things like 'Happy Birthday, have a great chocolate filled day, go shopping for shoes and then get pissed with your girlies!' Then there are the cards for men - 'Happy Birthday, look at big boobs and then drink beer with the lads!'
Who buys these cards? Who bloody makes these cards? Paints a pretty bleak image of men and women right? Anyway I resorted to a card with a photograph of a cat pulling an amusing face whilst sitting in a bowl of salad.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

I'm a commuter...

At the risk of turning this blog into my own personal ranting-ground, I bloody hate commuters. I know I know, most people have to commute to their work place, myself included, but why oh why are so many commuters so fucking loathsome? I'll set the scene - I get off the tube and start walking towards the station to catch the overground train home. Exciting stuff. There are trains every ten minutes in rush hour so why oh why do people insist on pushing and rushing? Take a big fat chill pill guys - catch the next train. I refuse to believe you are that busy and important. Just the other day one woman literally threw me out of her way and then stumbled over a fallen metal road sign. Apparently it is acceptable to throw all decorum and rationale out the window in rush hour. Of course I hate the slow ones too - the fat people who not only waddle along but also take up the whole street, the sex-pots who can't bloody walk in stiletto's and the OLD people who should retire.

And what is with grown men shoving young girls (me) out of their way!? Is shivalry completely DEAD? And what part of 'let people off the train before you get on' don't people understand? Want to know what else I hate? Tube politics. I really don't mind giving up my seat to a pregnant woman or an old person but how on earth am I expected to know if someone is pregnant or just fat? And what if I give my seat up to an old person and they get offended because they aren't that old? My solution is to not give my seat up to anyone. Yeah if there's a pregnant woman standing right next to me I'll look like an arsehole but I would rather run that risk than offend a fat woman.

I also hate looking at fat, ugly bankers.